It’s been a few weeks since shelter-in-place has been lifted here on the island and I have to admit that some days I forget that we’re living in strange times. How are so many people still out buying so much stuff?? I don’t want to be psychic but I had felt something life-changing was coming for over a year. I only told 1 friend, cause ya don’t wanna manifest that shit if you don’t have to. But this poop was very persistent. I couldn’t shake the feeling no matter what. Exactly one year ago I was in a minor car accident but life continued and the feeling was still there. So that wasn't it. Then later that year I had minor surgery, but the feeling was still there! I concluded that whatever was coming wasn't something minor. Then Corona hit and I couldn’t believe this crap. It was like all the movies I love, except this one had the worst soundtrack. But you know what, then I thought I’ve been training for this all my life! I know what to do! That lasted for about a day and quickly changed into the week of not knowing what to do. After that came the week of we’re all gonna get it. Then came the week of is this a normal cough or do I have The Rona?! There was a week of I’m never leaving the house again. There was the week of fuck this shit I’m going to the beach. The week of I’m eating salmon every day because I deserve it. The week of you can never have enough chocolate in the house. There was a week of fuck the rest as long as my loved ones are fine I’m fine. The week of we need to make sure everyone has food. The week of I couldn’t care less about the Relato di Dia. And then came the week of corona schmorona. Whatever. I’m exhausted. Some days I believe no one should have to die. Other days I think it’s “natural selection”. And other days I’m convinced we ain’t seen nothing yet and we need to fasten our seat belts. There’s one thing I know though. And I’m not hearing anyone speak about it, but one positive aspect of being cooped up in the house has been that it has become crystal clear that we could be fine with way less. Less school. Less workload. Less consumption. Less moving around. And more taking the time to work on our homes and yards. More time to cook real food. More time for creativity. More time for conversations. What if, and this is just an idea that has sprung from my simple mind, but what if we all decided we were fine with less? What if kids could do with half the time on school? What if adults could work only 4 hours a day because we’re all consuming less and needing less of everything? What if we slowed down a little more? Hospitality and tourism workers could share a job with someone else who will be working 4 hours a day. Yes, with some retraining, but also with the perspective of having more time off. It’s becoming obvious that many, many things on the island are ridiculously overpriced. That needs to change. We’re robbing our own if we keep up these import rates and keep paying taxes upon taxes. I’ll repeat. We can all do with a little less. Yes, what I’m proposing is extremely simplified, but you know what.... the life we were living was extremely non-sustainable. Meaning – we could, in fact, not sustain this speed of activities and consumption in the long run. We all knew this, yet we kept on going as if we didn’t have children who will have children who will look back and curse the day we decided to have children. Yes, I said it. We owe it to our offspring to slow the fuck down and consume the fuck less. Earth Overshoot Day [Earth Overshoot Day marks the date when humanity’s demand for ecological resources and services in a given year exceeds what Earth can regenerate in that year. Source] has been moved back due to corona. The last time we needed only 1 Earth to sustain us all was in 1970. In 2020 we need more than this planet + more than half of an imaginary other planet we don’t actually have. To be precise we need 1.6 Earths to sustain the life we’re living. This year Earth Overshoot Day would’ve been in July, but we’ve moved it back to August 22nd. What does this mean? It means we’re capable of less. So, let’s take on this challenge and keep moving the date back more and more. The whole planet can eat, have shelter, have medical services and more, by needing less. We now truly know what is essential, quite literally. I can do with less travel or dining out or new furniture if it means that all of us, the planet included, are healthier and happier. We’ve seen so many spontaneous community efforts, people connecting, others sharing expertise without charge, clearer skies, fewer heart attacks and strokes, more gratitude and countless efforts to support the weakest members of our societies. We now know we can do this. Can LESS be the new normal?
0 Comments
I'm about to break a record. The longest I've lived in one country was seven years. When I was younger I didn't have a choice. I moved when my mom moved. Then, as an adult I moved when I got what I call "the itch" to move. The itch is a mental restlessness. It starts very slow, very faint. If you're new to the itch you won't notice it in the beginning. Not until it grows until a real, serious itch. A feeling that you can't resist but scratch. And the scratch is: looking for other places to move to. Doing research, taking a trip, looking for jobs online, researching rent prices and more. And more. Which actually makes the itch worse. It makes it unbearable, until you're ready to move even without a job or a place to live in (which I don't recommend). I haven't had the itch in 8 years. I'm actually proud to say this so I'm gonna repeat myself (normally I hate repeating myself), I haven't had the itch in 8 years! In August I will be living in Curaçao for 8 years, officially, because I was back on the island in February 2009 but had to go back to Barcelona for a month to pack. If you ask me, I think a huge part of not getting itchy has been buying a house. I call it my anchor. It keeps me from drifting off to Itchland. Although being a third culture kid I always have my eyes open for life in other countries. But now, without getting itchy. And there's more to this record-breaking milestone in my life. I want to keep this itchless life. I don't want to move to another country if I don't have to. No epic life for me, please. There. I said it. My life wasn't any kind of epic before, but it was restless. When I look around I keep seeing people trying to have/living epic lives, having epic meals, taking epic trips to epic countries where they meet epic people who tell epic stories. As if being epic is the new "I have succeeded in life". More power to you if you want that. I will epically enjoy your stories while I'm living my boring life. And there was no sarcasm there. I really will and do enjoy your epic stories, if they come from a genuine place. My boring life will be me living in a nice house with a nice yard, and some day with someone to share life with. I'll get groceries at the same supermarket. Get gas at the same gas station. Drive on the same roads to the same job for years and years and years. No one will know me, except maybe the people at the supermarket and the gas station, and I will know no one, except maybe the people at..... yeah, you get the point. I have been living a pretty unepic life for a few years already and I think I'm getting good at it. The people at the supermarket and gas station know my face, but I see them wondering about my story. Maybe they don't know yet, that a story is just a story. I just smile and say hi. For the next few years I'm finding the bigness in the small things. The hugeness in the micro. I would like to read and paint and go to the beach and work in the yard or decorate the house. I would like to spend time with friends. Have true connections with interesting people. Encourage more kindness around me. I would like to have enough time to disconnect as well. Be by myself in peace, under my rock. I want to explore the farthest and darkest corners of myself and, if he will let me, of my special life-sharer. Epically boring. Yeah... I'm so looking forward to that unepic life! I want to be honest. I have been feeling like I must suck at life. I have been putting in 40 years of effort and I'm not accomplishing anything worthwhile. I'm not making a mark on the world and I'm not living some other things that are important to me. I feel like I obviously must not have any talent for life and I have been feeling down since I realized this. But. Five and a half months ago I had a beautiful, bright ray of pure life joy come into my life, Luca. The most wonderful puppy on the island. She sparkled with energy and love of life. Always up for a game or a walk or both, or just follow me around at all times to lay down by my feet. She was smart and was relentless in her pursuit of the cat. To her, the cat must have been the most boring puppy ever to have existed. He must have been faulty, because he never wanted to play and his barks were all wrong too. And it was her daily challenge to steal his food. I took Luca for walks at the beach three or four times a week. Sometimes as training, on the leash. And other times free to run wild through the sand, which she did. She stuck her nose in anything and if she found something that fit in her mouth it would go in her mouth. A few weeks ago she bit my finger hard when I was trying to pry a bone out of her mouth. She probably thought it was the bone, that's how hard she bit down on my finger. My nail bed broke and I still have the hemorrhage underneath as a reminder of her hunger to experience and taste everything. She was as brave as any superhero. She was always 'securing the perimeter' before I went anywhere, even though she was scared to go there herself. She walked through spiky plants, on slippery rocks, jumped on and off docks that were too high for her and she barked at me if I went swimming in the sea, because she couldn't secure that whole big wet noisy moving thing. Eventually, her solution became to sit still and stare me out of the water. Worked every time. Her eyes were the best eyes in the whole world. I have never seen such complete devotion and trust in any other eyes. Is there a word that means completer than complete? I would like to use that to describe what I saw in her eyes. And I love her so, so much for that. Every day I would hug and squeeze her and tell her how happy I was that she was in my life and that, in a way, she had chosen to live with me. That she was so amazing, so smart, so beautiful, such a joy to have around. She would then turn away from me, probably because she was tired of hearing the same thing over and over. Then I'd squeeze her some more, for good measure. But she got sick. It happened very fast and the vet doesn't know for sure, but it was probably Canine Ehrlichiosis (karpattenziekte). It started 5 days ago. She was eating a little less than usual and she was chasing the cat a little less. But I thought she was still ok. She was still bright and happy and following my every footstep. I didn't know it was serious. Until two days ago. She had gotten short of breath and was losing coordination. We both didn't sleep during the night. The next morning, yesterday, I took her to the vet and went back in the afternoon because she was getting worse and had stumbled to the most difficult corner in the yard as though saying 'this is where I want to die...'. I myself died a little right there. I couldn't bear seeing her like that. It hurt that she went from such a vibrant pup to a tiny baby that was feeling so miserable that she wanted to die. The vet said that her body was too weak and that I needed to make e decision... Now my heart is broken. How is it possible that a being that is so full of life and joy is no longer here and that I, not really seeing the point of it all, still am? It doesn't make any sense. I keep repeating this inside my head. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense. I have been walking around the house, seeing signs of Luca everywhere. Smells, her toys, newspapers on the floor in her toilet corner, her bowls, her food in the fridge and in the pantry. I see the cat, preparing to have her jump on him from an invisible corner. But most of all I see signs of her in me. I have been saying good morning to her even though she's not on the other side of my door, because I can't yet handle not saying good morning to her. Out of habit I check the floor before I stretch my leg out or move my chair. I hear her nails on the floor tiles and I turn to not see her come running towards me. I open the door to the yard and I remind myself that we don't need to make a toilet round before going back in. I already knew this, but now more than ever I understand that Luca was a master at being loving and kind. I'm sure there are many more gifts she added to my life, but for now I am devastated by the size of her unconditional love for me. I hope I ever get to her level in my lifetime. I am sharing this personal story with you, because I need a way to pay tribute to the immense, loving being that was Luca, today, while I'm in my sadness. I am honoring her life by remembering that I should not undervalue the source of the love or kindness that is shown to me. I know this is cliche, but sometimes cliches exist for a reason. Kindness may come from someone who has nothing to give or a 2 year old or someone you don't even like. So train yourself to recognize it when it's in your life. Likewise, you should not underestimate the impact your kindness may have on someone else. If you can get to the unconditional level, like Luca was (and actually all dogs are), then you have truly mastered this thing called love.
The other day I went to a pet shop to get dog food for my puppy. The store owner and I got to talking about all the things a puppy can learn. Since I'm now training the puppy to walk on a leash, I took my time to explain what I've been doing, but the man barely listened and interrupted me to recommend a choke leash for this. I told him that I'd prefer the puppy to learn without being afraid of how I could hurt her. 'Yeah' he said 'well expect to be training her for at least two weeks then. With a choke leash it'll just take a day!' Again I explained why I didn't want that. He said 'but do you prefer to spend all that time on training her, when you can get it done in one day? Time is money!' I then explained that I have the time and that I don't mind, but the broken record kept repeating that time was money. A thought kept banging inside my mind, trying to break free, but my polite upbringing kept my tongue in check.
ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE WORLD ARE BECAUSE PEOPLE LIKE YOU HAVE PUT MONEY ABOVE WHAT TRULY MATTERS
You know what? People like you were all wrong, sir. Time is not money. If time were money, no time would mean no money, and that is not so. No time means, no bonding, no connection, no rapport, no engagement and no willingness to be of service.
Ask any volunteer if time is money. Ask any terminally ill patient if time is money. Ask any new parent who is out working all day if time is money. Ask any person who is madly in love if time is money. Ask any homeless teenager if time is money. Ask any person who is about to commit suicide if time is money. Ask any addict if time is money. Excuse my bluntness, sir, but since my time is not money I would like to take a moment right now to very loudly yell a big fat NO to you and everyone like you. Time is exactly what we should be taking. Time, to be with others. Time, to connect and really find out what the other person needs to feel connected. Why is connection important? Because it fosters happiness and who doesn't want to be happy? Yes. The pet shop owner. All he wants is money. Maybe he eats it. Everyone else, I assume, wants to be happy. On the other hand there are people like this other man at a local building materials store. He saw me wandering around the store, probably looking lost, and took his time to ask what I was looking for. When he couldn't help me he directed me to another employee who might know what I could use for my idea. I thought the man would then leave and continue doing what he was doing, but no. He stood there with me and helped think of options. Then the three of us walked to an aisle where I found something that could work. And then, when he made sure I was satisfied with what we had found he left. That was awesome. I felt taken care of as a client and I felt taken seriously, even though what I was looking for will probably not save a whole construction from collapsing. To me it was important and it felt good that someone else saw that. So take the time. Be present with others. Put your device away. Stop the engine of your car. Take off your sunglasses and look people in the eyes. Connect. Even if it's for only 30 seconds, but connect. And then... when you've given all the connection you can, disengage and connect back to yourself. Oh... and money. Money = effort. |
Photos used under Creative Commons from julian_fern, Humphrey King