It’s been a few weeks since shelter-in-place has been lifted here on the island and I have to admit that some days I forget that we’re living in strange times. How are so many people still out buying so much stuff?? I don’t want to be psychic but I had felt something life-changing was coming for over a year. I only told 1 friend, cause ya don’t wanna manifest that shit if you don’t have to. But this poop was very persistent. I couldn’t shake the feeling no matter what. Exactly one year ago I was in a minor car accident but life continued and the feeling was still there. So that wasn't it. Then later that year I had minor surgery, but the feeling was still there! I concluded that whatever was coming wasn't something minor. Then Corona hit and I couldn’t believe this crap. It was like all the movies I love, except this one had the worst soundtrack. But you know what, then I thought I’ve been training for this all my life! I know what to do! That lasted for about a day and quickly changed into the week of not knowing what to do. After that came the week of we’re all gonna get it. Then came the week of is this a normal cough or do I have The Rona?! There was a week of I’m never leaving the house again. There was the week of fuck this shit I’m going to the beach. The week of I’m eating salmon every day because I deserve it. The week of you can never have enough chocolate in the house. There was a week of fuck the rest as long as my loved ones are fine I’m fine. The week of we need to make sure everyone has food. The week of I couldn’t care less about the Relato di Dia. And then came the week of corona schmorona. Whatever. I’m exhausted. Some days I believe no one should have to die. Other days I think it’s “natural selection”. And other days I’m convinced we ain’t seen nothing yet and we need to fasten our seat belts. There’s one thing I know though. And I’m not hearing anyone speak about it, but one positive aspect of being cooped up in the house has been that it has become crystal clear that we could be fine with way less. Less school. Less workload. Less consumption. Less moving around. And more taking the time to work on our homes and yards. More time to cook real food. More time for creativity. More time for conversations. What if, and this is just an idea that has sprung from my simple mind, but what if we all decided we were fine with less? What if kids could do with half the time on school? What if adults could work only 4 hours a day because we’re all consuming less and needing less of everything? What if we slowed down a little more? Hospitality and tourism workers could share a job with someone else who will be working 4 hours a day. Yes, with some retraining, but also with the perspective of having more time off. It’s becoming obvious that many, many things on the island are ridiculously overpriced. That needs to change. We’re robbing our own if we keep up these import rates and keep paying taxes upon taxes. I’ll repeat. We can all do with a little less. Yes, what I’m proposing is extremely simplified, but you know what.... the life we were living was extremely non-sustainable. Meaning – we could, in fact, not sustain this speed of activities and consumption in the long run. We all knew this, yet we kept on going as if we didn’t have children who will have children who will look back and curse the day we decided to have children. Yes, I said it. We owe it to our offspring to slow the fuck down and consume the fuck less. Earth Overshoot Day [Earth Overshoot Day marks the date when humanity’s demand for ecological resources and services in a given year exceeds what Earth can regenerate in that year. Source] has been moved back due to corona. The last time we needed only 1 Earth to sustain us all was in 1970. In 2020 we need more than this planet + more than half of an imaginary other planet we don’t actually have. To be precise we need 1.6 Earths to sustain the life we’re living. This year Earth Overshoot Day would’ve been in July, but we’ve moved it back to August 22nd. What does this mean? It means we’re capable of less. So, let’s take on this challenge and keep moving the date back more and more. The whole planet can eat, have shelter, have medical services and more, by needing less. We now truly know what is essential, quite literally. I can do with less travel or dining out or new furniture if it means that all of us, the planet included, are healthier and happier. We’ve seen so many spontaneous community efforts, people connecting, others sharing expertise without charge, clearer skies, fewer heart attacks and strokes, more gratitude and countless efforts to support the weakest members of our societies. We now know we can do this. Can LESS be the new normal?
0 Comments
You'll notice that I wrote 'ladies'. Not women, not bitches, not gals, chicks or babes. We may be babes, but we're ladies and we happen to be single. A few people have been asking me lately why I'm single. What type of man I like. How many men are waiting in line for a chance to date me. But you know what. I'm one of the thousands of amazing ladies (yes, I'm amazing and so are you) on the island who are single because we do not settle for what's being offered. So no, there's no line. A few weeks ago, my neighbor got angry at me for not wanting to get to know someone she sent me a photo of. 'Yolanda, you really disappoint me' she yelled through the fence 'I would never have expected that you, an intelligent woman, would look at a photo, A PHOOTOOOO, and claim to already know that you two won't be a match!!' I almost agreed with her wondering what was wrong with me. How can I not even give someone a chance? But you know what, I've passed the 40 threshold and have come to a place where I'm fine by myself. I always was, but now I'm finer than the fine I used to be. If you're not adding good stuff to my life I'm not interested. And with "good stuff" I mean high quality ish! Quality you cannot find on the island but have to research for weeks and order online. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Because We The Single Ladies, have got our shit together. Yes, we may drop a few balls here and there. Those balls are the small turds that sometimes come out after you've already dropped the main shit load. (Can you tell I love poop jokes?) But we handle that turd. Alone. So you, Mr. Man on the island we call home, need to come correct. You need to connect with us on our level and you need to come with feeling. Come with emotion. You, need to feeeeeeeel it. We can feel it when you feel it. We can feel it when you don't. When you want just the benefits but not the rest. When you want just the sexting in the middle of the night. When you want the drama so you can feel wanted. When you want someone to have endless discussions with, because you're so intellectual. When you want someone to make you feel good when you didn't connect with your real woman. When you need to boost your imaginary manhood by juggling multiple women. We can feel all of this and more. We may not be able to verbally explain what we're feeling, and sometimes we'll need to check your eyes to confirm, but we always catch your vibe. Now Mr. Man, we know you think you impress us by calling us dushi and babe in the first conversation we have. Honestly, we ask you to not ever do that, with anyone ever again. Don't try to manipulate women by faking feelings you don't feel. And don't underestimate our ability to discern the vibes we're getting from you. Coming correct means being real. Be ok with where you are. If it's nervous, be nervous. If it's intimidated, be intimidated. If it's insecure, be insecure. Be. ok. with. where. you. are. We have been ok with where we are for ages and we SO admire a man who can be vulnerable enough to be ok too. If you can't be ok with you... as you, you're wasting our time. It's not our intention to be rude, but it's just how we live. We have worked hard to get to where we are. And it's an ongoing process to stay where we are. There's no freewheeling here. You'll need to understand that we are hyper vigilant of any disruption of the stability we have achieved. This may mean that many single ladies on the island will become old spinster ladies in the future, but most will probably choose that over the disruption a man may bring by not being true. By not truly connecting with us. Our complete us, not just some aspects of us. Just our bodies or our minds. Our image. Our persona. To truly connect. That's what anyone craves really, deep down in the darkest, furthest, tiniest crevice of our purest hearts...... true connection. So why waste time with anything less. As for what my type is. I'll explain it once. My type is the man I look at with my heart and what I see is his heart looking back at mine, every time. He may stumble with his words but that doesn't matter. If his heart keeps looking at mine through the stumbling, that's the heart I want. 'Get rid of your ego!' 'Let go of your ego!' 'Overcome your ego!' You hear it all the time. Apparently, the ego is bad and we should act as if we don't have one. Having an ego makes you selfish, arrogant, proud and who knows what else. Oh I know what else, it makes you 'unspiritual'! I, of course, think differently or I wouldn't be writing this blog. God/Source/Creator/Allah/Jah/Upstairs/Infinite Intelligence doesn't make mistakes. And honestly, why do we think he would? She made every single person with an ego. It's built-in! That's gotta tell you that it must have a purpose. Its purpose is to keep us alive. It is at all times concerned with our survival and its task is to alert us to danger. To discern if we can take on that buffalo or if we should make a run for it. It helps us distinguish the edible root from the poisonous root. The ego is actually pretty useful. You should be high-fiveing your ego! Yes, I'll wait. It is your ego that helps you stock up on supplies, to guard your feeling of safety and abundance. If it has managed to accumulate enough (and preferably a little more than enough), it is satisfied. The ego gets a bad rep (for reputation, so don't write rap again) because we don't see how it is trying to serve us by securing our survival. That guy who is always bragging, does so because somehow his ego is convinced that by being the best, having the newest and being the fastest, his survival is secured. Back in caveman times, being the best hunter, the fastest runner, the one with the biggest supply for the winter months, meant you were gonna live to see another day. Are you getting a new appreciation for your ego? Can you see how sweet it is? I mean, who else takes care of you like that. Besides your mom. Same with your colleague who constantly takes all the credit. Same with the mom who makes a contest out of her child's accomplishments. Same with you posting the smartest comments on social media. It's all because of our concern for our own survival. But, our survival isn't as easily threatened as it used to be in caveman times. We now have several meals a day, we don't have to risk our lives to get them, we are protected from harsh weather conditions and we have modern medicine in case we need it. The ego didn't have as much to do for a few generations, so it quit its job. It was seen living under a bidge for a while, talking to itself and throwing stones at cars driving by. But now it is back. With a new strategy: stressors. It has been looking for stressors in our daily functioning because, in a way, stressors are a threat to our lives. We may not notice it consciously, but stress factors have us convinced that we'll 'survive' by being the best employee, having the best kid, being the smartest out there. The ego saw opportunity, so it took a shower, faked a master's degree in Human Survival and got its old job back. Because it loooooves keeping us alive. But all metaphors aside, let's ease up on our battle against the ego. It's a battle you'll loose either way. You cannot change your hardware. It may be noble to try to, but it's more mindful to accept aaaaaaall of yourself. Especially parts of yourself that keep you alive. I know it's tricky. We all want to have an easier life. And the possibility of getting it through arrogance, pride and selfishness smells so tantalizingly delicious. Except it isn't. Our fear for our own survival can play tricky tricks on the trickable mind. Giving in to the ego's strategies means it will grow stronger and trigger bigger reactions to the stressors in our lives. Your ego may tell you that you'll be passed for promotion if you keep letting your colleague take all the credit. And then you won't be able to afford groceries. And then you'll starve and then you're dead. Game over. So beat your colleague at their own game and demand all the credit for yourself! You're not about to starve are you?! Whoosaaaah.... This is when mindfulness comes in. - Take a deep breath and realize that your fears are irrational. That you'll be fine, without being the best. You've managed to get this far. Must mean you're pretty good at surviving. - Silently thank your ego for having your back and reassure it that you're fine. You have a roof over your head, a belly full of food and a healthy body. Tell it that it doesn't need to look for other threats. - Remind yourself that you're worthy of all the blessings life has to offer, just for existing, and see them coming into your life. - Whoosaaah again for good measure. Appreciate your ego. Let it exist within the space that was designed for it. Be aware when it starts to expand and cut it down when you see it growing in places where it shouldn't. But, let it exist. I'm not a human design expert, but I'm pretty sure we use the same mechanism to tell apart blue from yellow, left from right, big from small. Just like we're able to determine what's safe and what's dangerous. So Just like we're starting to appreciate natural hair, because we were fabulously born with it, we can start to appreciate our ego for the same reason. And you know what, once you train yourself to not be on the alert all the time for survival, you can actually start living. Now, repeat to yourself... I once heard someone say 'when your life is in balance, you're dead'. I don't remember who said it, but they were right. Because with balance, there is no motion. Both sides are equal, so everything stops. No more coming, no more going, no more jumping, no more sliding, no more singing, no more dancing, no more running, no more walking, no more sleeping. Did we come to earth to stop? No. Do we see any natural process, function by stopping? No. Is the planet we live on, stopping through space? No. So stop wanting balance. Quit wanting things to stop moving. LIFE is movement. Balance is not something to strive for in life. Maybe in death, but not in life. Life is dynamic, it's motion, flow, oscillation, fluctuation, locomotion, swing and any other movement you can think of. It is one aspect that complements another. A happiness that complements a sadness, a richness that complements a poorness, a speeding up that complements a slowing down. 'But YOYO, I've been seeking balance my whole life!' No, you have not. What you have been doing is finding a cycle that fits your life. You know—even while feeling happy—that a moment of sadness will come into your experience some time too. You know it and you feel it. So immerse yourself into this insight, and I mean drooooooown into this insight because it's HUGE, and realize that it's a cycle. All of everything is a cycle. The seasons are a cycle, feelings are a cycle, lessons are a cycle, the whole universe is a cycle. After a while we always get to the deeper layer. What we can do, is want to have a bigger happiness quota in our lives than sadness quota. A bigger proportion of abundance and a smaller allotment of lack. Nothing wrong with that. If that is your cycle then go for it. Go have more happiness! Live it up! And don't be scared to feel the sadness when it comes either. Just know that it's your cycle. It's being human. It's fine. And please, don't say 'I want more balance in my life' again. Aiming for something that you cannot attain is torture. |
Photos used under Creative Commons from julian_fern, Humphrey King