'Get rid of your ego!' 'Let go of your ego!' 'Overcome your ego!' You hear it all the time. Apparently, the ego is bad and we should act as if we don't have one. Having an ego makes you selfish, arrogant, proud and who knows what else. Oh I know what else, it makes you 'unspiritual'! I, of course, think differently or I wouldn't be writing this blog. God/Source/Creator/Allah/Jah/Upstairs/Infinite Intelligence doesn't make mistakes. And honestly, why do we think he would? She made every single person with an ego. It's built-in! That's gotta tell you that it must have a purpose. Its purpose is to keep us alive. It is at all times concerned with our survival and its task is to alert us to danger. To discern if we can take on that buffalo or if we should make a run for it. It helps us distinguish the edible root from the poisonous root. The ego is actually pretty useful. You should be high-fiveing your ego! Yes, I'll wait. It is your ego that helps you stock up on supplies, to guard your feeling of safety and abundance. If it has managed to accumulate enough (and preferably a little more than enough), it is satisfied. The ego gets a bad rep (for reputation, so don't write rap again) because we don't see how it is trying to serve us by securing our survival. That guy who is always bragging, does so because somehow his ego is convinced that by being the best, having the newest and being the fastest, his survival is secured. Back in caveman times, being the best hunter, the fastest runner, the one with the biggest supply for the winter months, meant you were gonna live to see another day. Are you getting a new appreciation for your ego? Can you see how sweet it is? I mean, who else takes care of you like that. Besides your mom. Same with your colleague who constantly takes all the credit. Same with the mom who makes a contest out of her child's accomplishments. Same with you posting the smartest comments on social media. It's all because of our concern for our own survival. But, our survival isn't as easily threatened as it used to be in caveman times. We now have several meals a day, we don't have to risk our lives to get them, we are protected from harsh weather conditions and we have modern medicine in case we need it. The ego didn't have as much to do for a few generations, so it quit its job. It was seen living under a bidge for a while, talking to itself and throwing stones at cars driving by. But now it is back. With a new strategy: stressors. It has been looking for stressors in our daily functioning because, in a way, stressors are a threat to our lives. We may not notice it consciously, but stress factors have us convinced that we'll 'survive' by being the best employee, having the best kid, being the smartest out there. The ego saw opportunity, so it took a shower, faked a master's degree in Human Survival and got its old job back. Because it loooooves keeping us alive. But all metaphors aside, let's ease up on our battle against the ego. It's a battle you'll loose either way. You cannot change your hardware. It may be noble to try to, but it's more mindful to accept aaaaaaall of yourself. Especially parts of yourself that keep you alive. I know it's tricky. We all want to have an easier life. And the possibility of getting it through arrogance, pride and selfishness smells so tantalizingly delicious. Except it isn't. Our fear for our own survival can play tricky tricks on the trickable mind. Giving in to the ego's strategies means it will grow stronger and trigger bigger reactions to the stressors in our lives. Your ego may tell you that you'll be passed for promotion if you keep letting your colleague take all the credit. And then you won't be able to afford groceries. And then you'll starve and then you're dead. Game over. So beat your colleague at their own game and demand all the credit for yourself! You're not about to starve are you?! Whoosaaaah.... This is when mindfulness comes in. - Take a deep breath and realize that your fears are irrational. That you'll be fine, without being the best. You've managed to get this far. Must mean you're pretty good at surviving. - Silently thank your ego for having your back and reassure it that you're fine. You have a roof over your head, a belly full of food and a healthy body. Tell it that it doesn't need to look for other threats. - Remind yourself that you're worthy of all the blessings life has to offer, just for existing, and see them coming into your life. - Whoosaaah again for good measure. Appreciate your ego. Let it exist within the space that was designed for it. Be aware when it starts to expand and cut it down when you see it growing in places where it shouldn't. But, let it exist. I'm not a human design expert, but I'm pretty sure we use the same mechanism to tell apart blue from yellow, left from right, big from small. Just like we're able to determine what's safe and what's dangerous. So Just like we're starting to appreciate natural hair, because we were fabulously born with it, we can start to appreciate our ego for the same reason. And you know what, once you train yourself to not be on the alert all the time for survival, you can actually start living. Now, repeat to yourself...
0 Comments
I once heard someone say 'when your life is in balance, you're dead'. I don't remember who said it, but they were right. Because with balance, there is no motion. Both sides are equal, so everything stops. No more coming, no more going, no more jumping, no more sliding, no more singing, no more dancing, no more running, no more walking, no more sleeping. Did we come to earth to stop? No. Do we see any natural process, function by stopping? No. Is the planet we live on, stopping through space? No. So stop wanting balance. Quit wanting things to stop moving. LIFE is movement. Balance is not something to strive for in life. Maybe in death, but not in life. Life is dynamic, it's motion, flow, oscillation, fluctuation, locomotion, swing and any other movement you can think of. It is one aspect that complements another. A happiness that complements a sadness, a richness that complements a poorness, a speeding up that complements a slowing down. 'But YOYO, I've been seeking balance my whole life!' No, you have not. What you have been doing is finding a cycle that fits your life. You know—even while feeling happy—that a moment of sadness will come into your experience some time too. You know it and you feel it. So immerse yourself into this insight, and I mean drooooooown into this insight because it's HUGE, and realize that it's a cycle. All of everything is a cycle. The seasons are a cycle, feelings are a cycle, lessons are a cycle, the whole universe is a cycle. After a while we always get to the deeper layer. What we can do, is want to have a bigger happiness quota in our lives than sadness quota. A bigger proportion of abundance and a smaller allotment of lack. Nothing wrong with that. If that is your cycle then go for it. Go have more happiness! Live it up! And don't be scared to feel the sadness when it comes either. Just know that it's your cycle. It's being human. It's fine. And please, don't say 'I want more balance in my life' again. Aiming for something that you cannot attain is torture. |
Photos used under Creative Commons from julian_fern, Humphrey King